| | i love to watch movies.
BUT (there always is a but) i was having a conversation with someone and i realized something: there are two reasons that i don't watch more of them. the first, i've always been aware of. the second, was an epiphany i had today.
1) almighty dollar: i'm just too cheap. i can't justify to myself spending 10 bucks on a movie when i can just be a little patient and watch it on dvd on a slightly (ha) smaller screen. the problem lies in the fact that once it comes out on dvd, then i'm too "busy" or "lazy" (or whatever excuse i have that day) to go to the video store and rent it and pay for it and return it.
actually, i think i'd rent it just fine, if i could be counted on to return it on time. which i probably cant. which means that all that money i thought i was going to save from not going to the theater goes down the drain, and i have to make two trips to the video store anyway to pick it up and drop it off, so it sounds like a whole lot of trouble, if you ask me.
not to mention the agony that comes (to me) in being in the video store and being OVERWHELMED WITH ALL THOSE CHOICES. my god, i'm "that girl" that stands around for an hour, only stopping the standing to slowly meander the aisles in zig zag formation...looking and looking again, and again. when i see "that girl," i always want to creep up on her and bellow, "get on with it! it's not like you're picking a child at an orphanage! just come back another day! YAH YAH!" so you can imagine that when i'm her, i hate myself for it - yet i do it every time.
so. when netflix came up, it appeared that all of my reservations about renting movies were taken care. or were they? (cue suspense music--->) *DUM DUM DUMMMMMM*
2) commitment-phobia: i can't bear the thought of committing two whole hours to watching a movie. because although i know i'll probably end up sitting there and watching crap on tv for the same amount of time, i still won't feel as bad about it. i guess because it wasn't planned. which makes no sense.
i think i'd subconscoiusly rather just forgo it all together becuase i get so overwhelmed with the feeling of guilt and uselessness at the thought of "wasting" two hours and not being productive. which is totally stupid because i'm not that productive anyway. (actually, maybe if i planned these things, i'd be more productive. but that's a discussion for another day.)
i refuse to half ass a movie. i love them too much. i would rather not watch them at all, rather than do them the injustice of not giving myself to them completely. sure, i'll fold laundry or eat while i'm watching, i'm not a complete fanatic. but i'd prefer to just be able to just...watch. and that's it. and that takes planning.
i wonder how many things in our lives are like that? i mean, this could potentially be a very insightful breakthrough for me.
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| | Posted 2/2/2008 4:26 PM - 61 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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